We've been set free, let us be your hands.

Saturate; to cause something to unite with the greatest possible amount of another substance.
Saturate; to fill (something or someone) with something until no more can be held or absorbed.

This weekend, I was saturated with my God.
For those of you who don't know, I went on a retreat this past weekend, in Spring Ville, Alabama called (you guessed it) saturate.
It is a fasting retreat for teenagers. Yeah, you read that right.
A trip where hundreds of teenagers pay money to go on a trip where there is no cell phone service, no Internet, no FOOD, for three days.
Call me crazy, but I don't know many people who would want to do that.
Yet we all went! God brought us all together and saturated us!!! (by the time you're done reading this, you probably will be tired of the word saturate =)) When we got there, we worshiped first, and it was acoustic music, which was different, and I didn’t like it at first, but I liked it in the end!
Then Mark Pettus spoke about some of the things this generation is facing, and the cool thing about it was that he made us tell him what we were facing. Then he made us tell him some things that could happen this world if we truly lived out Jesus’ name. Revival was the one we lingered on.
Picture in your mind right now, that one person you love so much that doesn't know Christ. That won't be in heaven with you, and that can't experience our God and take comfort in Him.
Now, picture that person face down, worshiping our GOD. Yeah. Revival.
After Mark spoke, we had 30 minutes to do whatever we want in pure silence. I was nervous about it, but it was truly amazing.
We went to bed at 2:00AM, and went to service number two at 9:00AM the next day.
Aldger spoke on “the word”. He spoke last year as well, and it was just as good, if not better this year!
After he spoke, we had thirty minutes to read God’s word.
He told us to look for four things;
Who God is,
who you are,
what God has done/is doing,
and what God wants us to do.
After another service, on Prayer, we had an hour of prayer. They gave us a booklet type thing of about eight on nine pages, telling us what to pray for, and I didn’t even get half way through it! So now that I’m home, I’m continuing to pray using that as a guide line.
We watch the “passion of the Christ” all together as one of the services. And once again, I was blown away by God’s saving grace and just WHY he would do that for me! For those of you who have seen it know what I mean. It's intense.What Jesus went through just for you.
When it was over, everyones eyes wet, worship music began playing, and we all just layed there and prayed, cryed, listened, worshiped, and asked why!
We were just laying in His presence.
I don't know how to explain it to you so that you'll understand what I'm trying to tell you, except for God was there. He was with us.

So during this all, I believe (1) God showed me the verse Matthew 6:25-34, which talks about being "anxious about tomorrow" and how we shouldn't worry.
Well, bet y'all never could have guessed that I worry a LOT! I'm always so caught up in 'what if's' and when's and how's.
I came to the realization that worry and trust are of opposites.
When I worry, I'm telling God that I don't trust Him so I'm gonna try to take things in my own hands.
How silly is that.
I questioning the same God who made me, and made the whole UNIVERSE! I'm pretty sure He knows what he's doing.
(2) How to be free.
For as long as I can remember, I've always been caught up in the strings of Envy, particularly in the area of ballet.
I wish I had this like her, and I wish I was more like that. I wish I was as pretty as her, I wish, I wish.
I've always heard it said that, "I'm beautiful just the way God made me." "He loves you just the way you are.".... and it isn't really that I didn't believe them, it just didn't stop me from comparing myself to others.
If only I were to realize sooner, that God loves my dancing if I worship Him, not when I do a triple pirouette or I get my extensions higher.
My God loves me.
I know for a fact that I will be completely free from this right away. It was a root in my life, and it can't be completely pulled quite yet. Even today, my first day back at ballet, I was having trouble. But If I keep what I know in mind, I will not fail.
Another thing that was trapping me was night terrors. I get them quite often actually. Waking up and can't stop shaking because I'm so scared, but not even knowing what I'm scared of! Can't go back to sleep, because I keep seeing flashes of.......evil in my eyes. BUT,
"..He rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
You will NOT fear the terror of the night.." (Psalm 91)
I am free.

All this to say, my God's not dead, he surely alive. He's mine, and I am His.
I am a princess of the most High.
I am safe in His arms.
And I will be His hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Pictures to follow in coming blog!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quotes from the weekend. (=

-My future is shaped by God. Not the other way around.

-He believes in you more than you believe in yourself!

-If our faith is not found in the word of God, where then, is it found?

-God loves you just the way you are. But He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just. like. Jesus.

-Expectation in the birth place of revival!

More than conquerors

As I was driving home today I was overcome by how truly blessed I am. I mean, I have my problems, but who doesn't?
I went on a church retreat this past weekend. I can't begin to but words to what I felt there. I mean seriously, God's presence what so.. thick.
After service one night, my small group and I were suppose to be praying for each other. And we did, but as we began to tell each other what we wanted prayer for, we all started crying. Not just crying, but weeping. And we couldn't stop. We were heart broken over the lost, and those who couldn't experience what we had that weekend. It was a ugly kind of beautiful. The most vulnerable, exposed sort of beautiful.
But as I was driving home, listening to worship songs, so many things crossed my mind.
Why did I use to treat our Foster children the way I did?
When am I going to stop living the "when this happens then I'll really live for Him" sort of life.
Why do I always commit to something and tell Him I'll do something then do the exact thing I'd been doing before?
What if I were to die that day? What would I have done that was important with my life?
So many questions that I couldn't answer. And I still haven;t answered any of them. This post isn't an attempt to. But I found comfort in the words of this song.

No mountain, no valley, no gain or loss we know
could keep us from Your love. No sickness, no secret, no chain is strong enough
to keep us from Your love,
to keep us from Your love.
Nothing can separate us from His beautiful, magnificent love. No matter what I've lost, God's love is still there for me to grab hold of. No matter the sickness, or the chain I feel trapped to. God's LOVE is there.

How high, how wide...
No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands.
It's so rich. His love is unmeasurable.
I can feel a million miles away from Him, but healing is still in His hands. He still has the power to rid every hurt or stain from my life.

How deep, How strong...
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands
"His power is made perfect in my weakness." I may be falling apart, but God's grace and healing hands are holding me together.

Our present, our future, our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood
We're covered by Your blood
"Therefore, there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
I may have been someone I don't like, I may have done things I regret, but I know that I'm made new. That I'm covered in His blood!

In all things, we know that.
We are more than conquerors.
You keep us by your love.
You keep us by your love.
I can overcome. So many times I get home from an amazing retreat, from a weekend from being in the presence of the LORD Jesus, and I forget almost instantly what I just experienced. I forget everything I've learned or the promises I've made myself and the LORD.
But today, I know, that I'm more than a conqueror. I can overcome anything. I can do "all things through Christ Jesus". That I can do anything I set my mind to with the help of my Father.

I hope this encourages you as it has me.
And if no one else reads this, I'll be glad that I took the time to write it. Because I've found truth in this song and in His word.
Amen, Amen.

Finally..

Tonight, 475 days later... we saw Kayden Grace. Except now, her name is Kayden Elizabeth.
We arranged for us to meet them at books-a-million. We were there 30 minutes early, so once she got there, she saw our mom and ran to her. Which is a big improvement from when we saw her on her 4th birthday, a week after she was taken.
She's officially adopted. I do believe she's happy. She does ballet, (just like her big siser) she was in a pageant this past weekend, she's been to disney world and met all the princesses! She has two puppies that are "little so [she] can pick them up. but they do claw you!!"
She told us that she wanted to call daddy; Papa.
Mom; mimi.
Lauren;... Lauren, or Lala.
Tanner; Toe toe bigfoot.
And me; Hannah Cake. "Which is like a cake named Hannah!!!!!"
She remembered all the important things. Like who we were and how much we loved her. She remembered Hally (Our grandmothers dog), she half remembered, "that game we use to play when I was just one..?" (which I have no idea what she was talking about!!) But she remembered her special way to say I love you. From the time she was 8 months old, we'd show her how to say I love you with your fingers, and she'd hold her hands up, and with her middle finger she'd pull back her pointer finger (picture below). And this is the way she left our home. Telling us she loved us like she always had.
Right when we got there, my mom got her in her arms and took her by herself, and told her that she wasn't taken because she was bad, or because we didn't love her anymore, so I believe all is well.
At the end of the day, we told her it was time to go because she had school tomorrow.
"I don't wanna go to school." and she said she wanted to go home with us.
We didn't cry this time, and neither did she. Which is good.
And we're all okay, ya know, happy that we got to see her.
But it wasn't suppose to be like this. It wasn't suppose to be weekly visits.. She was suppose to be ours..
But I know God knows the bigger picture.
Here's some pictures from tonight.

A trip down memory lane...

It's all done! Yesterday afternoon, my mother, brother and I went school shopping!! It's always a huge relief knowing that we're all prepared for the school year, and getting to organize our schedules and school boxes! Though it cost 240.00 just for my brother and me!!!
Well when we got home, I had to find a place to put it all! So that got me reorganizing my whole house! But I ran across my old portfolio and a book called "all about me" An old journal I did when I was Nine, and a Christmas wish list when I was really little!!!!
I love going down memory lane. (= SO! I wrote a couple things out! Just sound them out like they're spelt. That's what I did!!!

All about me. (9 years old)

Question: Have you ever been to a circus, carnival, or big parade? What did you see there?
Answer: I saw santuklos, droms, candy and cars.



Question: What do you like about your home?
Answer: It's worm and safe and i feel kofterbool in it and it smels good.

Question: Tell about your homeschool-What's your favorite thing to study?
Answer: I like this. and I thing you know what it is about.

My favorite right here.
Question: Tell about a time when you got in big trouble. What was your punishment?
Answer: No.
(Boy, does that reflect my personality right there!!)

Last one.
Question: If you had all the money in the world, what would you buy with it?
Answer: I whould halp people in nead and then Buy a manchan, 2 big pools one for a dolphin and one for us, new clows, TV for every body In the house.



Now onto my christmas wish list!!! I spell extra good in this one. =P
It's writen in a spongbob notebook that I remember having when I was REALLy little.. But I'm not sure how old I was when I wrote this. seven maybe? =D

- A kamru that koms with film,
- extr film,
- mostrs ink,
- clowes,
- neklusis that i can mack,
- a picher fraem,
- a mearukool dool,
- ars in krafts stuf,
- sit and spin,
- bubls,
- spung panes,
- a mokinchrole dog,
- a kare bare,
- a spung bob slushy maekr,
- sum theang nael polish like mom's, (some finger nail pollish like mom's!!! =D )
- and, sum tinu shoos.

I love memory lane.. (=

Testimony

Here's my testimony that I didn't get to share at hale county, but I wrote it anyways =)



Hi guys! So my name is Hannah-Katherine, I’m 15 years old, and I’m a sophomore I high school. I’ve grow up in a Christian home, with parents who took me to church twice a week and taught me bible verses and how to live by God’s word, ya know the whole bit!
Well, one day, when I was 10, my mom sat us down and told us that God told her that, if we all agreed on it, than we were going to start foster care.
Of course we all agreed! Ever since I was little, my whole family and I have been obsessed with babies and little kids! It wasn’t long after that, that we got our first baby, of course we all loved her. Then we got our second, and our third. Our third child’s name was Kayden. She was a baby addicted to all kinds of medicine, ,so she was a very hard to take care of! I kept waiting and waiting for the medicine to finally get out of her system, but it felt like it took forever!! Eventually, she was completely detoxed, and she was precious. A year later, she was still with us. Her mom and dad weren’t in the picture anymore, so, we decided to adopt her. We couldn’t just give her away when she was almost two! We were the only family she knew. So, we started the paper work. Little did we know that it would be so expensive! So, we decided to put it off until we saved up the money. We thought, what’s the rush, right? It wasn’t until recently that we found out there was a rush!
A year and a half later, Kayden was almost four. We got another baby into our custody who was on medicine just like Kayden was. One night he ran out of medicine so my mom gave him some medicine that we had left over from another child. The same medicine that was prescribed to him, but it had another Child's name on it.
My mother told the doctor this, thinking she had nothing to hide.
They pressed charges, telling us we were abusive to the foster kids in our home, so they came and took him away from us. We were okay with that. We were upset that they would think so badly of us when really we were just trying to help the child, but we were fine. Until, they came to our house and told us that Kayden must go with them too.
We thought that was impossible. Kayden wasn’t in their custody anymore. The only thing that was stopping her from being ours was a signature on a piece of paper.
So on May 5th, my little sister was taken from our home.
We had no idea when we would get to see her again, or when she would come home. May 19th 2009, 2 weeks after she was taken, we got to see her for her 4th birthday, but we still haven’t seen her since.
We went through eight court dates, trying to get the judge to see that we were only trying to do what was best for that child, and that Kayden had nothing to do with it anyways!
Almost a year went by between the 8 court dates. And I kept asking, “What are you doing God? Why are you putting my family through this? Why are you putting HER through this?” And I kept getting the same answer,
“Wait.”
I had no idea what that meant or why I had to do it! Almost a whole year already passed! Wait for what?
We received news on April 21st, that she wasn’t coming home. That my little sister wasn’t my little sister anymore. So it isn’t a really happy ending, but I want y’all to get the message that It took me so long to learn during all this.
Wait.
I’ve learned so much out of this than I thought was possible when all this started. I know that having Kayden away from our house would not be ideal for us, and I wouldn’t have picked this for myself, but I know God’s plans are bigger than mine.
He knows the end of my whole life, and he knows what’s best. We might not always know it, or feel it in that moment, but he is bigger than our situation.


Here’s a poem that pretty much sums up the whole thing.

Desperately, helplessly, lovingly I cried,
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait, you say, wait," my indignant reply,
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why! Is your hand shortened, or have you
not heard? By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word. My future and all
to which I can relate, hangs in the balance and YOU tell me WAIT? I'm needing a
'Yes' a go-ahead sign, or even a 'No' to which I can resign. And Lord, you
promised that if we believe, we need but to ask and we shall receive. And Lord,
I've been asking and this is my cry: 'I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.'"
Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting, for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
when darkness and silence were all you could see;
You would never experience that fullness of love,
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You would know that I give and save, for a start, but you'd not know the depth of
the beat of My heart, the glow of My comfort late in the night, the faith I give
when you walk without sight, the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You never would know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee!'
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight would come true,
but oh the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you!"
"So be silent, My child, and in time you will see,
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me;
And though oft may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still WAIT."

Wait.

Desperately, helplessly, lovingly I cried,
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait, you say, wait," my indignant reply,
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why! Is your hand shortened, or have you
not heard? By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word. My future and all
to which I can relate, hangs in the balance and YOU tell me WAIT? I'm needing a
'Yes' a go-ahead sign, or even a 'No' to which I can resign. And Lord, you
promised that if we believe, we need but to ask and we shall receive. And Lord,
I've been asking and this is my cry: 'I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.'"
Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting, for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
when darkness and silence were all you could see;
You would never experience that fullness of love,
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You would know that I give and save, for a start, but you'd not know the depth of
the beat of My heart, the glow of My comfort late in the night, the faith I give
when you walk without sight, the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You never would know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee!'
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight would come true,
but oh the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you!"
"So be silent, My child, and in time you will see,
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me;
And though oft may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still WAIT."




By Russell Kelfer

Can the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart?

It has taken me a while to write this.

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?

As most of you know, 365 days ago, my world fell apart.
Along with the story I'm about to tell you, many other things were going on.
My older brother, Michael (26), is not a Christian.
My older sister, Ashley (22), became pregnant by her boy friend. She also is not a Christian.
My other sister, Lauren (17), has an eating disorder. we found out a lot of things happened to her unwillingly when she was little, she was not right with her relationship with Christ, and a bunch more that I cannot say.
My mother was always crying in her room, and my dad was always working.
All of this being said, and the story I'm about to tell you, I have never been under more stressed, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

My little sister, Kayden Grace, was taken away from us and placed into a foster home on May 5th 2009, all because my mother gave a little baby some medicine.
The same medicine that was prescribed to him, but it had another Childs name on it.
My mother told the doctor this, thinking she had nothing to hide.
They pressed charges, telling us we were abusive to the foster kids in our home, so they came and took all five of them.
Kayden was not a foster child, but we had not adopted her yet because we felt that there was no reason to go into debt in adopting her if there was no rush.
Later did we learn that there was a rush.
I have not see my little angel in 351 days, and she has not been home in 365.
As most of you know, she was more than a sister to me. She came into our home when she was 4 days old, and we had her right up to two weeks before her 4th birthday. We were the only family she ever knew. The ones she called 'mommy' and 'daddy'.
I would often be out in public, and people would stop us and say, "You girls are sisters, aren't you? You look so much alike!"

We taught her to walk, to talk, to sing, her numbers, animal noises...

She would often sing to me as we took walks to the park.
She would hold the foster children in her arms and welcome them with open arms.
When she was little, we would point to an animal and we would say, "what is this animal called?" She would say, "Dawwwwwwgg" no matter the animal.
She would often ask me to put her 'lip-lops' and her other make-up on her, and she would often do mine.
She told me "you'll be alright Hannah-Cake. It's okay." when I was crying and freezing of fever.
She would always make a mess with bubbles in the bath tub.
She would always wake me up early telling me, "the sun's up Hannah! It's time for us to get up!"
She would sometimes be crying in the car, and nothing would make her stop, until we'd start singing the 'backyardagains' theme song.
We would stay up late in bed being 'Julie and Sam' with our fingers. We'd pray and she'd make me give her a full body massage.
We would make cookies together, and she'd put it on my face, then lick it off!!
We'd dress up as ballerinas and tell her she could do ballet when she was ours.
She’d drive us crazy singing 'your mamma don't dance and your daddy don't rock-n-roll'.
She’d go for an hour talking, then suddenly stop and say, "I like to talk."
The way she thought everyone’s name should end with an 'en' so you called dad 'Dadden'.
The special way she said I love you with your fingers.
She said 'pliglet' instead of piglet.
I love the way she'd always give Eskimo kisses, and the way she said 'That tickles my tummy!' when she went to high on the swing.
She told us she loved us as we promised we'd come and pick her up tomorrow.

A couple years ago, when Kayden was about two, and we knew we were going to adopt her one day, I had a nightmare of someone coming and taking Kayden.
I haven't told many people this, but now I know God was warning me..
After that dream, whenever she left the room, or went somewhere without me, I'd always say, "I love you Kay." and she'd say it back.
I always made sure the last thing she heard before she went to sleep, were, "I love you".

Those who knew Kayden, and saw her with us, know that, here, with us, is the best place for her. We love her more than you can imagine.
I do not expect you to understand, but I do ask you to keep her in yours prayers. When she gets older, she probably won't remember us, but she'll always wonder why she finds it so hard to trust other people.
We let her down. We lie to her. I hope she forgets us.

I do not understand why God has put us through this. More importantly put HER through this.
Though I do not understand, I have chosen to except it. His ways are bigger than mine.
At first, in the couple of days that I couldn't do anything but cry, I kept telling myself, "When Jesus was on this earth, he didn't go through this. He didn't have someone he loved so much taken away from him."
It wasn't until a couple weeks later that I realized, God goes through this every day. He knows where His children are, but he can't talk to them. He can't spend time with them, and love them. Not unless we allow Him to.

This being said, I will not put Him through what I'm having to go through. I will continue to follow Him. What else could I do?

I hope you never have to go through anything that I had to. I pray for you every day, hoping you realize how lucky you are and that you never, ever, take what you have for granted. God had blessed us with so much, and we seldom realize it.

Dear Kayden.

Dear Kay.
How have you been? I hope you're good. How's your new big brother? Does he play games with you? Does he tell you how beautiful you are when you try on your princess dress? 'Cause you know your beautifuler than all the other princesses.
Is it getting warm over there yet? Can you play on our slip-n-slide?!
Kayden I miss you. We're down in gulf shores right now, visiting baby Liam and Ashley and Halley. She's a big dog but she won't bite you. You're a big girl, so you're not ascared, right?
Kayden Gace, sometimes I can't help but feel happy, but then I beat myself up because I remember what we're putting you through. But I don't want to feel happy, not when you're not here.
It's been 321 days.
That's more than 100 pictures I'll never get to take.
More than 300 days that I'll never get to hear you sing to me.
More than 500 times I won't get to hold your hand.
More than 1,000 kisses I'll never get to kiss.
And more than 1,000,000 "I love you"s I'll never get to say.
I literally break when I think about you. Which is why I can't decide if it's worse to remember or forget.
But then I choose remember because I don't care if it hurts. I love you too much to.
Court is only 11 days away. Yet 11 days sounds like a life time.
But, somehow, I'll get through.
Just know I miss you angel. More than anything.
Hold on baby girl. We're almost finished.

Love- Hannah-Cake

Not so wordless Wednesday =)

-We worship to show God how thankful we are. We worship because we are able to. We worship to give thanks to him for ALL the blessings and all the heartaches. We worship, because it is the core of our whole existence..

Dear Kayden....

Dear Kay.
There's so much to say! How have you been baby girl?
I'm sure you so big now. Is your hair still beautifully blond? I'm sure it is.
Well baby Kay. You're an aunt now! Ashwee had a little boy! She had it in her tummy and she gets to keep it! It's her very own. I'm sure you're gonna love him. His name is Liam. He's precious.
Kayden, it's been three hundred four days since you've been home. I keep telling myself that you'll be okay once you get back here, but there is always that doubt that you'll maybe love them more then you love us. If you do, we'll be alright. I just want you to be okay. For you to be loved. No matter how much it hurts me.
I still have your giraffe. Do you have mine? I snuggle it every night, thinking of you.
I miss you lots.
I miss taking walks with you while you sing to me.
I miss doing your make up and letting you do mine.
I miss taking pictures with you when we're suppose to be sleeping.
I miss You.
Court is twenty eight days away. I remember our court date in August; When it got put off until October. I though there way no way I could wait until then. I guess I did. And I guess I can wait twenty eight more days. Hopefully.
It does give me hope to know that Jesus went through his worst day so that I could go through mine.
You'll never know how much you mean to me baby girl. I love you so much. See you soon, okay?
Goodnight "Julie".

Placed on the potter's wheel.

With a strong forearm, the apron-clad blacksmith puts his tongs into the fire, grasps the heated metal, and places it on his anvil. His keen eye examines the glowing piece. He sees what the tool is now and imagines what he wants it to be-Sharper, flatter, wider, longer. With a clear picture in his mind, he begins to pound. His left hand still clutching the hot mass with the tongs, while his right hand slams the two-pound pledge upon the moldable metal. On the solid anvil, the smoldering iron is remolded. The smith knows the type of instrument he wants. He knows the size. He knows the shape. He knows the strength.Whang! Whang! The hammer slams. The shop rings with noise, the air fills with smoke, and the softened metal responds. But the response doesn't come easily. It doesn't come without discomfort. To melt down the old and recast it as new is a disrupting process. Yet the metal remains on the anvil, allowing the toolmaker to remove the scars, repair the cracks, refill the voids, and purge the impurities. And with time, a change occurs: what was dull becomes sharpened, what was crooked becomes straight, what was weak becomes strong, and what was useless becomes valuable.. Then the blacksmith stops. He stops his pounding and sets down his hammer. With a strong left arm, he lifts the tongs until the freshly molded metal is at eye level. In the still silence, he examines the smoking tool. The incandescents implements is rotated and examined for any marks of cracks.
There are none.
Now the smith enters the final stage of his task. He plunges the smoldering instrument into a nearby bucket of water. With a hiss and a rush of steam, the metal immediately begins to harden. The heat surrenders to the onslaught of cool water, and the pliable, soft mineral becomes an unbending, useful tool..






"For a little while you may have to suffer grief in all lines of trials. They have come so that your faith-of grater worth that gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is reveled"
(1 peter 1:6-7)

Sudden sin.

" It happens in an instant.
One minute you're walking and whistling, the next you're wide-eyed and falling. Satan yanks back the manhole cover, and an innocent afternoon stroll becomes a horror story. Helplessly you tumble, aware of the fall but unable to gain control. You crash at the bottom and stare blankly into the darkness. You inhale the evil stench and sit in Satan's sewage until he spits you out and you land, dumbfounded and shell-shocked, on the sidewalk.
Such is the pattern of sudden sin.
Can you relate to it?
Very few sins are premeditated and planned. Very few of us can qualify for Satan's strategy team. We spend our time avoiding sin, not planning it. But don't think for a moment that, just because you don't want to fall, you won't. Satan has a special trick for you, and he only pulls it out when you're not looking. Don't expect this demon of demons to challenge you to a duel. No sir. He fights dirty. He is the master of the trapdoor and the author of week moments. He wait until you defense is down and then.... You fall.
You lose your temper. You lust. You take a drag. You buy a drink. You kiss the boy or girl. You follow the crowd. You rationalize. You say yes. You sign your name. You forget who you are. You walk into her room. You look in the window. You break your promise. You buy the magazine. You lie. You covet. You stomp your feet and demand your way. You deny your master.
It's David, disrobing Bathsheba. It's Adam accepting the fruit from Eve. It's Abraham lying about Sarah. It's Peter denying that he ever knew Jesus. It's Noah, drunk and naked in his tent. It's Lot, in bed with his own daughters.
It's your worst nightmare. It's sudden. It's sin.
Satan numbs our awareness and short-circuits our self-control.
We know what we're doing, and yet, can't believe we are doing it.
We want to stop, but haven't the will to do so.
We want to turn around, but our feet won't move.
We want to run, and pitifully, we want to stay.
It's the teenager in the back seat. It's the alcoholic buying "just one". It's the boss touching his secretary's hand. The husband walking into the porn shop. The mother losing her temper. The father beating his child. The gambler losing his money. The Christian losing control. And it's Satan gaining a foothold.
Confusion. Guilt. Rationalization. Despair.
It all hits, and hits hard.
We numbly pick ourselves up and stagger back into the world.
"Oh God. What have I done?"
"Should I tell someone?"
"I'll never do it again."
"My God. Can you forgive me?"
No one who is reading these words is free from the treachery of sudden sin. No one is immune to his trick or perdition. This Demon of hell can scale the highest monastery wall. Penetrate the deepest faith, and desecrate the purest home.
Some of you know exactly what I mean.
You could write these words better than I, couldn't you?
Some of you, like me, have tumbled so often that the stench of Satan's breath is far from a novelty.
You've asked for God's forgiveness so often that you worry that the well of mercy might run dry. Want to sharpen your defense a bit?
--First. Recognize Satan.
our war is not with flesh and blood but with Satan himself.
Do like Jesus did when Satan met him in the wilderness.
Call him by name. Rip off his mask. Denounce his disguise.
He appears in the most innocent of clothing:
a night out with a boy, a good book, a popular movie, a pretty neighbor. But don't let him fool you! When the urge to sin rears its ugly head, look him in the eye and call his bluff. Whatever you do, don't flirt with the fallen angle. He'll thresh you like wheat.
--Second. Accept God's forgiveness.
Romans 7 is the Emancipation Proclamation for those of us who have a tendency to tumble. Look at verse 15:
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do."
Sound familiar? Read on. Verses 18 and 19:
"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing."
Man, that fellow has been reading my diary!
"What a wretched man am I! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" (verse 24)
Is there no oasis in this barrenness of guilt?
There is. Read verse 7:25 and 8:1.
"Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!
....Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!"
Amen. There it is. For those in Christ there is no condemnation. Absolutely none.
Claim the promise.
Memorize the words.
Accept the cleansing.
Throw out the guilt.
And Praise your father. "


Some parts are found in the book; Shaped by God; by Max Lucado.

Quotes

Here's some of my favorite quotes. Enjoy!

-- change means purging your heart of anything that can't coexist with christ. you can't put new life into an old lifestyle. the inevitable tragedy occurs. the new life is lost.

-- One thing I know - know in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, know it deep in my empty chest - was that love gave someone the power to break you..

-- When you love the one who is killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If you life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truely loved?

-- God doesn't give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need. To help you. To hurt you. To leave you. To love you. And to make you into the person you were meant to be..

-- As the moon kindles the night: as the wind kindles the fire: as the rain fills every ocean: and the sun the earth: your heart will kindle my heart. Take my heart, take my heart. Kindle it with your heart. 'Cause my heart cannot be kindled without yours. Your heart will kindle my heart.

--Time passes. even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes evenly, in starnge lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does..
Even for me.

-- I cannot change yesterday. I can only make the most of today and look with hope towards tomorrow.

--Hope knows that if great trails are avoided, great deeds remain undone. and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted.

--Love is irrational. the more you loved someone, the less sense anything makes.

--Faith is the courage to accept acceptance.

-- I can see you squirming. You say you aren't worthy of such affection by God? Neither was Judas, but Jesus washed his feet. Neither was Peter, but Jesus fixed him breakfast. Besides, who are you to decide if you are worthy? Our job is simply to be still long enough to let God have us and let him love us. Our job is to listen so we don't miss a moment, or a note of the music God plays for us.

--The biggest stunt the devil can ever pull, is convincing the world he doesn't exist..

--By his fingers, wrinkles of worry are rubbed away. Shadows of shame and doubt become portraits of grace and trust. His touch can turn tears of despair into tears of peace...

--"Just give me a tear-a heart ready to mold. and I'll give you a mission. A mission so bold, that a fire will be stirred where there was only death, and your heart will be flamed by my life and my breath."

--Hell is not a place god sends people. Hell is simply a place where you can go to pay for your sins if you choose it. But there's really no point in paying for something that has already been bought...

I believe in creation.

So... In biology this week, I had to write a paper about why I believe in Creation.
So here it is =)


Evolution or Creation?



Charles Darwin was the first person recorded to ever question that God created the earth, and everyone in it. In 1859, he published a book called; On the origin of species by means of natural selection , or the Preservation of Favored races in the struggle for life. In It had all of Darwin’s ideas of how the earth was made and how we came to be.
The majority of scientist today believe in evolution. I; along with many others, do not. I am not a scientist, but I have been researching the idea of evolution and the idea of a creator. But my opinion is, that God did create this earth, and he did create us. And a significant amount of data is to back up this theory.
I put together three reasons why I believe what I believe, and how they confirm it. One of them being, fossil record.
Macroevolutionists believe that simple celled animals, over millions of years, continued to add to their genes until they change into a completely
New species! If this is so, where then are the fossils to prove this? Scientists all over the world have discovered many, many fossils in many layers of the earth. But not one of them has been an intermediate link. Many of them many try to tell you that there has been some found; the Archaeopteryx for example.
Archaeopteryx was found in Jurassic rock. Since that is lower on the Geological column compared to where most other birds are found, some Macroevolutionists believe it is an intermediate link of a dinosaur transforming in to a bird.
Here’s a quote from Ian T. Taylor;

“….(Archaeopteryx) is not, and never has been, an example of a 'transitional' kind of creature between reptile and bird.
Archaeopteryx does not have part legs/part wings, part scales/part feathers, or any feature part-way 'evolving'. The feathers are even 'modern' in appearance, so the problem of feather evolution is still a huge headache for those who think birds and feathers were not created complete from the beginning.” (http://www.cai.org/bible-studies/archaeopteryx-fossil-forgery)

It has been proven that there has been no intermediate links between animals and other animals or animals and humans because God created each one of us unique and how we were suppose to be. The bible says,

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them both.” (Genesis 1:27)

“So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing which the water teems, according to their kind, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:21)


My second point is, the existence of the universe!
Evolutionists have left our a huge part in explaining their theory.
Because without a creator, there would be no space! Evolution does not explain why there is both matter and energy instead of completely nothing!
Take for instance, the moon. It’s very important that there is only one moon, and that it is exactly the right distance from us. If it was any further, earth wouldn’t have any gravity, and if it was any closer, we would have too much! Now take the earth for example. It is exactly the right size it needs to be for the atmosphere we need. Its size and gravity hold a thin layer of gases. Without them, we wouldn’t be able to breath! If our planet were smaller, it couldn't support an atmosphere, like Mercury. But also, If it were any larger, the atmosphere would have free hydrogen in it which would poison us all! Again, God knew what he was doing when we he took the earth, stars and all the planets, and placed them exactly where they needed to be to sustain life for us.

The last thing I want to point out is, life from non-life.
Even the simplest single-celled organism (such as bacteria) is VERY complex. Even a protein molecule has a chain of hundreds of amino acids that must be in the exact order to work, and all of these parts must be present and working to start. Such complexity could never arise by chance!
Here’s a quote by John D. Morris;

“Actually, any living thing gives such strong evidence for design by an intelligent designer that only a willful ignoring of the data could lead one to assign such intricacy to chance. Every living thing, from simple bacteria to people, possesses the marvelous DNA code, which contains a library full of precise information, and without which life is impossible.”


The only way you can believe in evolution is to ignore 99% of the data!
If you think about it, you must be wondering why so many scientists are so close-minded to the idea of a creator. Why can’t we talk about God in some schools anymore? They’re scared of being proven wrong.
But really, without a creator, no life would be possible. When God created us, he knew exactly what we needed to survive.
He created the smallest bacteria, and the great whale! Everything works according to the way he planned it. Therefore, I believe God created me and you and every living thing on and around the earth.
Much more research can be done to find more proof against evolution.
Such as The Cambrian Explosion, Structural Homology, Molecular Biology, and many more.

Breaking the sabbath?

Last night, I spent the night at Lydia's house. For those of you who don't know her, she's my best friend in the whole world. =)
But right before we fell asleep, I shot up in bed and asked her, "Lydia? Do you think that playing nertz today was a sin since it was in the sabbath?" (Nertz is a card game that we played) and that got us into an hour long conversation about it.
This question has always bothered me. Because I read the bible, and it says, 'Honor the sabbath' but no one does anymore.
Sometimes on Sundays, I catch myself doing school and cleaning and stuff, and I know I shouldn't be, but I do it anyways.
So Lydia and I talked about it, and came to a conclusion that it is wrong to work on Sundays, but not wrong to be lazy and play a little game, unless you're replacing God with that game.
But when we said that, I thought of the millions of people that do work every Sunday. Back in the 60's, my mom was telling ,me about how nothing was ever open on Sunday's to honor the Sabbath. So why did i change?
I think we are a world who needs to be taught. We need to seek our Heavenly Father.
God I pray for you to help us see what is right. Teach us, and direct our path.
-Amen

The Sabbath.

Sunday =)
Father, on this day of rest, I ask you to teach me to be like you. Teach me to remember you in everything I do. While reading your word today, I was reminded how you were tempted in the desert, but stood firm through it all. Father, teach me to stand firm on your rock. Through everything. I know you're with me, and just that fact, gives me great hope. But right now I ask that you be with her too.
I love you so much.
Thank you for this beautiful day.
-Amen

Forever..

Love so incredible to know it’s never gonna go never gonna go. Love too impossible and true for anyone but You, For anyone but You. I think I’m on the brink of something large, Maybe like the breaking of a Dawn, Or maybe like a match being lit or the Sinking of a ship, letting go gives a better grip.
I’m finding everything I’ll ever need, By giving up being everything.
Falling for You for eternity, Right here at Your feet, where I wanna be,
I am Yours..
Love so indelible to know You’re never gonna go, You’re never gonna go. Love too unthinkable and true, for anyone but, You For anyone but You.
Or maybe like a match being lit or the,
Sinking of a ship, letting go gives a better grip.
I’m finding everything I’ll ever need, By giving up being everything. Falling for You for eternity, Right here at Your feet, where I wanna be, I am Yours forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever....

Dear Kayden..

Day two hundred thirty six.

Merry Christmas my baby.
How was it? I hope you got our presents. Lip-lops and finer polish! I know it's your favorite.
Did you cover your face in it like you use to? I hope you still have all the gifts you got so we can play with them when you come home! Did they tell you the real meaning of Christmas Sweet girl? How Jesus was born just for you? I hope they did.
I can't explain to you how hard it was today. The ache in my chest when I woje up and realized what day it was. But I know you enjoyed it. Even without us. And I'm so greatful for that.
I know your're asleep right now. And I hope you have beautiful dreams. Dreams of Flutter byes!
Do you still call it that? I hope you hear me wispering in your ear, "Butter can't fly silly girl! It's Flutter bye!"
The year's almost over, angle, and you weren't here to spend it with us. I have a new friend I want you to meet! Her name is Lydia and she's soo sweet! You'll really love her.
I also have a new dance I want to teach you! Guess what.. You get to come to ballet with me now! It's a class just for big girls like you! You want to?!
Oh Kayden, I hope you don't see the fight that's going on for you. Even now I can hear people crying. But you're SO worth it! I'd do it 1,000 times over if it means you'll get to be happy with us again. Only if it's what you want. I don't know what I would do if you wanted to stay there, but I'd do it if I knew it's what you really wanted.
Kayden I hope you love me still. Remember me okay? Remember the way I loved you..
Merry Christmas.

Dear Kayden...

I miss you baby girl.. I hope you know that.
I wish there was some way to tell you how much I love you.. I don't know if you still love me or not. In so many ways I hope you do. But I also hope you've forgotten. Maybe then I can take comfort knowing you've moved on and you're happy with your new mommy, daddy and big brother.
I hope you don't miss me like I miss you. I hope every second of every day isn't as agonizing for you as it is for me. I hope you're happy. Truly I do..
Are they good to you Kayden Grace? Did they let you put the angle on the christmas tree?
We're not putting up a Christmas tree this year, so I hope yours looks beautiful. I know it does if you helped with it.
Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed =) I'm just keeping it warm and ready for you when you come home to it.
I miss our bed time talkes. I miss pretending to be Sam while you're finger is Julie.
And I miss waking up every morning by you telling me "the sun's up!"
I haven't forgotten you little angle. And no matter what happens, I never will. You'll always be my little girl. No one can ever change that.
I know I can't hug and kiss you right now, but take comfort in knowing that God is with you. Remember that he loves you and will never leave you, even when everyone else does.
Merry Christmas baby girl. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love- Hannah Cake